Letting go of perfectionism and other people's opinions is badass....but necessary as a part of the self-emptying required for ministry - also known as Kenosis.
"Kenosis" is derived from the Greek word "kenoo" which means "to empty."
What God wants is not always the same as what I think I want and what other humans might want from me. I learned this when I finally had the courage to say "NO" and it effectively ended my marriage. I continue to learn to become empty in the context of my physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual journey. Just like painting, becoming a vessel requires letting go and allowing myself to follow the gentle nudges. My will/ego/desires often gets in the way. It's only when I am willing to totally let go - even if it means "destroying a painting" - that I can notice the Spirit move. And as many great theologians have stated, it is often the chaos and mess that precedes the breakthrough. One must allow it to happen.
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Phil. 2:5-8).
Note that the painting below went through MANY layers of total chaos before it finally emerged completed. It's the only one I have ever done like it....
"Transformation: Inside the Rainbow Chrysalis"
36 x 36 Acrylic on Stretched Canvas
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