Thursday, July 26, 2018

A Moment of Honesty about my Anorexic History

A moment of honesty....I got on the scale this morning as I do every morning. Normally I don't care about the number. It simply integrates with my app on my phone and helps me track overall progress with swelling, water, and weight loss too. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, to where the scale number doesn't matter, because of my former history with eating disorders. 

But this morning was different. I got off the scale and it said a number 10 pounds less than where it's been for the last several weeks. Suddenly I felt elated. Where I should have been concerned that I was dealing with severe dehydration ( sudden drop of 10 Pounds is likely water), instead I felt joy. Recognizing it could be a fluke though I stepped back on the scale and yes it was indeed an incorrect reading.

Reflecting on that moment of joy, I recognize that the anorexic history is still an active neural-net in my brain.  And so I choose to lovingly acknowledge it, and then with a breath of kindness release it into the universe. That is why I'm writing it here, because we are only as sick as our secrets.  If I'm honest about it, it loses its power to dominate my thoughts in my mind. And now I go on about my day!

Monday, July 2, 2018

Start Where you Are

There are times when we get it all wrong as a society. Tonight I want to name that our greatness will be measured by how we walked with those that are dying, cared for the chronically ill, advocated for the marginalized, and tended to the children...all without complaints of burden or hardship.  It's an honor to help those in need...And WE ALL WILL BE THERE AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIVES.

How do we fix it? Start where you are...start small...a family member, friend or neighbor. Act out of compassion and gratitude - that's how we will change the world.

Blue Phoenix