Sunday, July 31, 2016

Anthony Demello...FAVORITE

Reposting this blog....very well written!

“What you call the experience of happiness is not happiness at all but the excitement and thrill caused by some person or thing or event. True happiness is uncaused. You are happy for no reason at all.”

http://www.phillipwells.com/2016/02/anthony-de-mello-on-attachment-and-how-to-love.html

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Don't Rush

Rushing into action, one fails.
Trying to grasp things, we lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
will ruin what was almost ripe.
Therefore the wise take action
by letting things take their course.
Remain as calm at the end
as at the beginning.
Attached to nothing,
there is nothing to lose.
The wisest desire is non-desire.
Learn to unlearn.
Simply remind people
of who they have always been.
Caring about nothing but the Tao,
one thereby cares for all things.
― Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching
Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
Title HEALING
Acrylic on canvas


Health Update

Thank you to those that have been being so loving and supportive during the last few weeks of weird sudden hearing loss/etc. I wanted to provide an update because I need to stay out of the shadows. We are still operating under the assumption that my sudden hearing loss was caused by an auto-immune issue - but right now the exact cause is a bit soft. So, I am getting lots of second opinions to make sure that we are on the right track. It's a road filled with uncertainty - thankfully I am good at walking through liminality...but I am not going to lie...this one has its challenges. And the challenge feels so silly to me - It's my face. Allow me to explain....

Each time I drop the prednisone, I get more ear symptoms. I had to hit pause on increasing my methotrexate dose (which is getting me off the prednisone) because it is causing my liver to get a bit upset. I'll know more next week.

I have an amazing team advising me...and the bottom line is this - we have to preserve my hearing while we find what works. So that means I can't just get off the prednisone because that is what is keeping my ears in tact.

For a girl that has had an eating disorder, I am struggling with prednisone. My face is puffy. Shit that sounds vain. But it's true. My tummy is puffy too. These are the side effects. So, that means NO HIDING what's going on with me. Add in IV fluids and I look like someone I don't even recognize at times.

Humility. I am on God's road. There is just the humble walk down the path that God has in mind for me...daring to be REAL the entire way. It's a badass journey, and one filled with the very human fear of rejection and abandonment...but this is where the roots of God run deep...because I know deeply that I am always held in God's grace.

It is also a journey tempered with the perspective that I am so incredibly blessed. Those that are living outside, those that are suffering without medical care, those that are dying on the streets in the cold, those that are refugees from war all over the world...it puts everything into perspective. So I will be grateful for the prednisone that is sparing my hearing at the moment. I will be gentle with myself for the way that it affects my self perception. I will allow the journey to unfold as it does.

And finally, with courage, I will ask for my loved ones to love my face if it's a little puffy, because it is still ME...and my tummy if it's a little swollen (because that's ME too)...And to check in on me, but to remind me that I am STRONG AS FUCK and I WALK WITH GOD...And that we all can pray together for one another as we walk the road toward greater HEALING in all aspects of the Word.

Friday, July 29, 2016

The Cultural Lie of Suffering

As a part of my recent theological coursework, I was invited to reflect on “cultural lies.” These shadow belief systems reside deep within the collective consciousness to such a degree that they are often accepted as fact or simply taken for granted as base assumptions.  Absent questioning, these beliefs can push people to the margins and contribute to significant struggle.

For this reflection, I am opting to focus on the prevailing illusion that pain, disability, difficulty, struggle, and even some types of suffering are necessarily “bad.”  I wrote the following in my reflection last week, and I would like to carry it forward into this discussion:

"As humans, I believe that we are here to learn something that may seem paradoxical. It is our nature to cling to structures in ways that make us feel safe. But union with God requires an emptying that often feels like suffering." – Heather Thompson

This is where I believe a prevailing cultural lie can be observed and witnessed.  Suffering leaves people stripped of words and struggling to find a way to make meaning out of desperate circumstances. Yet we expect people to be able to articulate themselves in culturally appropriate ways.  Those that are suffering are often made to feel “less than” for their inability to express their suffering according to expected social norms.

We live at a time when words are given greater meaning than symbols, where we seem to take for granted the vast array of language that is accessible to the imaginative, creative and divinely inspired human mind.  This can be observed at all levels of our human structures, from the educational system to the corporate world to the power structures that rule nations.  We also see it throughout religion, where greater meaning is often assigned to the words of the bible, as opposed to the physical manifestation of God throughout all of Creation (Cosmos as scripture).  While this narrow definition of language is sufficient for the majority of the populous, it is the people on the margins – the very people that are suffering – that often lack the ability to express their truth. Thus, the entire notion of communication and expression must be redefined, in addition to the value associated with words as language, especially in light of the ineffable nature of theological discourse.  Art, poetry, music, color, intuition, contemplation are therefore all valuable methods of facilitating a deeper discourse. 

I find that I am continuously anchoring this alternative view in which other forms of communication are essential and valuable aspects of the theological discourse.  The “lie” or the “shadow” is still very much present as I struggle to hold onto the value of artistic expression as a means of communicating ideas far too complex for the spoken word. I find myself struggling to be a “good girl” – to attempt to flatten my theological insights into linear language - in order to try to fit into the prevailing culture; yet doing so feels entirely contrary to why I am exploring theology in the first place.  This is the danger of the lie, where those that are different become marginalized and/or contort themselves to “fit in.”

I am fortunate enough to be able to communicate this very issue using words.  It has been a long time coming. That said, there are far too many that simply cannot do the same.  We must become aware that there is incredible value to the language being spoken on the margins. It is simply incumbent upon each of us to learn to LISTEN. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Freedom

At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it. Be free where you are.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
www.bluephoenixart.com

IF YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE AN AWAKENED WOMAN

New art just finished!

IF YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE AN AWAKENED WOMAN~~

If you choose to love an awakened woman, understand that you are entering into new, radical and challenging territory.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, you cannot stay asleep.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, every part of your Soul will be aroused, not just your sexual organs or even your heart.

Frankly, if you prefer a normal life, stick with a normal girl.

If you want a tame life, seek only a woman who has allowed herself to be tamed.

If you only want to dip your toe into the flowing waters of Shakti, stay with the safe, tamed woman who has not yet plunged into the wildness of the Sacred Feminine ocean.

It is comfortable to love a woman who has not yet activated her inner sacred powers, because she does not push your buttons.

She will not challenge you.

She will not press you into becoming your highest Self.

She will not awaken the forgotten and numbed-out parts of your Spirit that urge you to remember that there is more to your Life here than this.

She will not look into your weary eyes and send a lightning bolt of Truth through your body, jolting you awake and stirring long-lost desires for Soul Love within you.

A safe, unawakened woman will be wonderfully satisfying and soothing to your ego, heart, and body. She will walk quietly beside you and make you feel needed, responsible, like you are fulfilling your manly role.

If this is enough for you then accept it, love her with all your heart, remain faithful to her and thank her daily for the gift of her mild, unthreatening feminine presence in your life.

If this is not enough for you – if your heart, body and spirit is only craving the ‘other kind of woman’, the Wild One – then know that you are on the cusp of Soul-Shifting transformation.

Know that you are making a serious choice with karmic consequences.

If you choose to step into the aura and body of a woman whose spiritual fires are blazing, you are accepting that you need a certain level of danger and risk in order to grow.

Once you begin to love a woman of this nature, you must accept total responsibility for the life-changes that will then ensue.

Your life will not be sleepily comfortable all the time. Your life will not allow you to stay stuck in old ruts and stagnant routines. Your life will take on a radically-new flavour and scent. You will be ignited by the presence of the Wild Feminine, and it will begin to send electric shockwaves of spiritual Light through your entire chakra system, attuning you to the Call of the Divine.

Choosing to be sexually and romantically-intimate with an awakened woman takes masculine courage to walk fearlessly into the Unknown. But it will reap rewards beyond your mind’s comprehension.

She will take you into undiscovered worlds of mystery and magic.

She will lead you, mesmerised and half-drunk with love, into the wild forests of sensual ecstasy and wonder.

She will show you sacred skies so full and burning with stars that you will start to wonder if you are still living on the same planet that you were born on.

She will break and tear you open so that your fierce, passionate heart drives you half-mad with longing. You will want to consume and penetrate her on every level so that your Masculine Essence can consume and penetrate the world – illuminating the Universe with your devoted Love.

She will see you like you’ve never been seen before.

She will trust you.

She will appreciate you.

She will acknowledge your efforts to make her happy.

She will value everything good that you do, and everything good that you are.

She will not run from your darkness, because your darkness does not scare her.

She will embrace, kiss, caress and love you back to Life. She will speak words that your Soul understands. She will not punish you for your mistakes.

It is a monumental risk to love an awakened woman, because there is suddenly no place to hide. She sees everything, therefore she can love you with a depth and presence that your heart and body have yearned for so hard, so long, so fiercely…that you wonder whether you have actually been alive for all the time that she has been away.

Loving a woman like this is a choice you make to start living with your Soul on fire.

Your life will never be the same again once you’ve invited her energy in.

Take this risk on yourself, or step back, stay with the normal girl and accept a different, safer, more comfortable and somewhat calmer life.

Just make sure that if you choose the latter, you don’t spend the rest of your days with your eyes looking back over your shoulder, straining to see once again the hazy vision of Feminine Mystery that has now disappeared from view.

She has long gone..spiralling back up to the Stars, the distant Galaxies and the Heavens…from where She came.

~Sophie Bashford

Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
"LOVE Fearlessly"
Mixed Media on Woodboard

Simplicity. Patience. Compassion

"I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures." ~ Lao Tzu ~

Photo by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
My horse HARVEY.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Transformation is Badass

I seem to be on an embodied journey through my theological course work this quarter...but what else is new lol.  As i read for class last night, i found myself deeply affected by the material.  Transformation is Badass...and it takes radical faith to drop into Mystery and allow it to change you on a core level. This is what my seminary journey FEELS like.  It's not all academics and theological musing....its time in the desert...time spent shedding old ways of being...time spent figuring out who i AM....time spent learning to let go....which means practicing letting go...and that can be extremely challenging.  However, the gift is clear: I'm anchoring on God.  My roots run deep into Mystery.  And I've come to realize that what is often perceived as suffering is simply a breaking down of old ways and a deepening of faith...its an emptying of my egoic self so that i can more deeply FEEL the nudges of the Holy Spirit. 

So as i go in for IV fluids today to help my blood pressure while tapering off the prednisone (BLEH), and as i go up on the methotrexate auto immune drug to prevent hearing loss (GRRRR)...and as i struggle with a puffy face and tummy that makes me feel self conscious and vulnerable (it reminds me of the face i had when my husband left me at my worst..ARGH)...i remember why I'm walking this road.  And it's hand in hand with God. I can forgive those that walked away when i hit bottom, because now i notice the beauty of those that walk in...and those are the people who taught me what ministry really is. 

Thus...It's through this recent struggle that I'm finally becoming willing to admit that I'm a Minister.  I'm not "becoming" a Minister.  I am one.  I'm not a Minister in a box.  I don't need a title or a degree.  I don't seek opportunities for ministry.  I simply keep emptying myself so that i notice the Call.  Then, when i feel the nudge, i walk in. 

This has been a long time coming. Yep...transformation is Badass.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Perspective

Perspective.

"Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.


The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

Carl Sagan...The Pale Blue Dot
Photo by Hubble Telescope NASA

Help Her Live

"Nothing truly real is forgotten eternally,
because everything real comes from eternity and goes to eternity.

And I speak now of all individual men and not solely of man. Nothing in the universe is unknown, nothing real is ultimately forgotten.
The atom that moves in an immeasurable path today and the atom that moved in an immeasurable path billions of years ago are rooted in the eternal ground.

There is no absolute, no completely forgotten past, because the past, like the future, is rooted in the divine life.

Nothing is completely pushed into the past.
Nothing real is absolutely lost and forgotten.
We are together with everything real in the divine life.

Only the unreal, in us and around us, is pushed into the past forever.

This is what "last judgment" means--to separate in us, as in everything, what has true and final being from what is merely transitory and empty of true being. We are never forgotten, but much in us that we liked and for which we longed may be forgotten forever.

Such judgment goes on in every moment of our lives, but the process is hidden in time and manifest only in eternity.

Therefore, let us push into the past and forget what should be forgotten forever,
and let us go forward to that which expresses our true being and cannot be lost in eternity."

The Eternal Now. Paul Tillich. Theologian.

Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
Title "Help Her Live"
SOLD

Friday, July 22, 2016

Ministry

"Ministry is walking in when everyone else is walking out." - Heather Thompson, Blue Phoenix Art

Forgive. Everyone.

"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody." Maya Angelou.

Original art by Heather Thompson
Blue Phoenix Art
WARRIOR CHIEF
acrylic on canvas
Contact for purchase info
Www.bluephoenixart.com

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Church on the Margins

I saw Michael today...asked him if he needs anything.  And he looked at me with the bluest most loving eyes and simply said...."No not really...God has truly blessed me."   Those that live on the margins are my pastors.  This is my church.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Dark Night of the Soul - We are all connected.


St. John of the Cross is among my very favorite mystics.  In the midst of great suffering, gratitude was revealed.  This is such a seemingly strange paradox, and yet it is true of life as I walk with those that are suffering and as I endure my own struggles in life.  In my deepest pain and agony after the Traumatic Brain Injury that changed my life, feeling stripped of all of the things that I held onto as the core of my identity, I discovered the simple Grace of being connected to God.  In this very basic way, I learned that I am fundamentally lovable. 

This is similar to the image of Ceres (see video below). On the edge of a cosmological system, seemingly lonely and void of the stellar beauty that we ascribe to other planetary bodies, there exists a desolated planet.  


This planet reminds us of something so fundamental to God that it often renders humans uncomfortable – Even its most basic form - desolate, on the margins, battered, cold - Ceres is a part of the greater whole.  Thus, there is no loneliness when we are speaking about God…in fact, those that are on the margins, experiencing suffering, living amidst the dark night of the soul… remind us of the GRACE that is poured out upon humanity.  Tillich referred to this grace as the Courage to Be.

This brings me to a favorite quote by St. John of the Cross:  “Desire to imitate Christ – and study His life. Do the most difficult, the harshest, the less pleasant, the unconsoling, the lowest and most despised, want nothing, look for the worst.

We may fear those on the margins because it forces us to grasp non-being and finitude. On some very core level, people want to create a sense of “us” and “them” in order to feel safe in the world. To realize that there is no “us” and “them” is to stand on top of an abyss too frightening for most human beings. Yet, we are called to do just this. We are called to recognize ourselves in the other.  We are called to notice the divinity in everyone and everything as a self-emptying of God. KENOSIS.

Just today, I personally experienced this very challenge.  An entire neighborhood of individuals had rallied against an RV located at the bottom of our hill.  Gossip, judgements, unkind words all infiltrated the discussion about the neighborhood response.  I simply asked the question – has anyone talked with them? Are they homeless? Have they been evicted? Is there something that is needed?  Easy questions that were unanswered in the face of nothing but conjecture.  This is "us" vs "them." 

I am acutely aware of the realities of homelessness in our communities, as I spend time working on these issues.  I am currently sick with an auto-immune flare that is affecting every aspect of my life at the moment.  And yet, I took 30 minutes to reach out – it’s easy for me to do.  Some would say that this is me ministering to “them.” But I see it differently. In the presence of those on the margins, suffering, struggle, those that are living in the grace of the Courage to Be are my pastors…my teachers.  There is no "us" and "them." There is only everyone and everything. It is at the outskirts of the unexplained where I find God because I am forced into the very limit of my own understanding. Stepping into mystery, even when there is suffering, I find comfort.


As humans, I believe that we are here to learn something that may seem paradoxical.  It is our nature to cling to structures in ways that make us feel safe. But union with God requires an emptying that often feels like suffering.  It’s a matter of unlearning all that we thought mattered in the world and discovering a deep innate sense of the larger whole.  I once heard that suffering is the breaking down of the scar tissue that guards our hearts, and on the other side of it, is LOVE.  Powerful words. 

I will end with this quote from John of the Cross: "When he is brought to nothing, the highest degree of humility, the spiritual union between his soul and God will be effected. The journey does not consist on recreations, experiences and spiritual feelings, but in the living, sensory and spiritual, exterior and interior death of the cross."

    Thursday, July 14, 2016

    New Beginning

    Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing.
    ~ Ajahn Chah ~

    Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
    "New Beginning"
    Acrylic on Canvas
    Contact for Purchase Information
    www.bluephoenixart.com



    Unfiltered. Real.

    New Blog Post. Unfiltered. Real.
    I debated whether or not to post this - we all have our insecurities...but I felt so inspired by a recent unfiltered post by a friend fighting Stage 4 cancer that I decided to write this post today. Last night I got back the pictures from my recent RAW Artist event…and I was immediately struck by the image looking back at me. Allow me to explain…
    I recently had an episode of sudden hearing loss. As of today, it is thought that the hearing loss is caused by an auto-immune problem with my inner ear, and could potentially be indicative of a deeper auto-immune diagnosis. To complicate matters, this could be the diagnosis underlying my struggle with my central nervous system (Dysautonomia), and the reason it has taken so long to heal from my TBI. My goodness, it’s a good thing I spent 15 years of my life in healthcare working on care coordination! But I digress……
    There are four photos below, all taken less than two weeks apart. At the time that the first two photos were taken (at my RAW Art Show), I was being given up to 10G of salt a day along with a special steroid to keep my blood pressure up. I was also getting periodic IV fluids. This is Dysautonomia. The goal is to keep one’s “tank” full…so that hydration is consistently optimized in order to keep one’s pressure from dropping. It makes you "puffy." You can see it in the pictures from RAW.
    But there was with nagging issue - the difference in my face between the first two pictures and the third picture is so obvious. Not only is it the degree of puffiness, but there was this "mask" on my face (hidden with makeup, but still apparent). My skin was showing something deeper.
    Fast forward two weeks - I have been being treated as if I have an auto-immune problem that caused the sudden hearing loss. The mask on my face is gone (last picture). My hearing is restored. My blood pressure is consistent. No need for all of the salt. And as the water and inflammation in my body changes, my physical appearance is changing at the same time. The ability of the human body to morph and change is remarkable.
    This brings me back to the images…my skin showed that I was sick. Less than 48 hours after these first two RAW photos were taken, I lost my hearing. I was swollen, particularly in my lymphatic area under my chin. All of that is gone now. So here is what I know…
    We know our bodies. We know when things are right and when something is wrong. It is essential to listen deeply to our bodies. I have had an eating disorder in the past, and I am lucky to have healed from it. But the journey now is learning to KNOW my body, and allow the wisdom within to resonate so strongly that I pay attention when something isn’t right. That means avoiding the tendency to judge myself, and instead give myself the unconditional love that this God-given body deserves. It is only through LOVE that I will continue to heal this beautiful body and find the balance that has escaped me my entire life.
    I am on a journey of LOVE.



    Unfiltered. Real.

    I debated whether or not to post this - we all have our insecurities...but I felt so inspired by a recent unfiltered post by a friend fighting Stage 4 cancer that I decided to write this post today. Last night I got back the pictures from my recent RAW Artist event…and I was immediately struck by the image looking back at me.  Allow me to explain…

    I recently had an episode of sudden hearing loss.  As of today, it is thought that the hearing loss is caused by an auto-immune problem with my inner ear, and could potentially be indicative of a deeper auto-immune diagnosis.  To complicate matters, this could be the diagnosis underlying my struggle with my central nervous system (Dysautonomia), and the reason it has taken so long to heal from my TBI.  My goodness, it’s a good thing I spent 15 years of my life in healthcare working on care coordination! But I digress……

    There are three photos below, all taken less than two weeks apart.  At the time that the first two photos were taken (at my RAW Art Show), I was being given up to 10G of salt a day along with a special steroid to keep my blood pressure up. I was also getting periodic IV fluids. This is Dysautonomia.  The goal is to keep one’s “tank” full…so that hydration is consistently optimized in order to keep one’s pressure from dropping.  It makes you "puffy." You can see it in the pictures.  

    But there was with nagging issue - the difference in my face between the first two pictures and the last picture is so obvious.  Not only is it the degree of puffiness, but there was this "mask" on my face (hidden with makeup, but still apparent). My skin was showing something deeper.  

    Fast forward two weeks - I have been being treated as if I have an auto-immune problem that caused the sudden hearing loss. The mask on my face is gone. My hearing is restored. My blood pressure is consistent.  No need for all of the salt. And as the water and inflammation in my body changes, my physical appearance is changing at the same time. The ability of the human body to morph and change is remarkable. 

    This brings me back to the images…my skin showed that I was sick. Less than 48 hours after these first two RAW photos were taken, I lost my hearing.  I was swollen, particularly in my lymphatic area under my chin.  All of that is gone now. So here is what I know…

    We know our bodies. We know when things are right and when something is wrong.  It is essential to listen deeply to our bodies.  I have had an eating disorder in the past, and I am lucky to have healed from it. But the journey now is learning to KNOW my body, and allow the wisdom within to resonate so strongly that I pay attention when something isn’t right.  That means avoiding the tendency to judge myself, and instead give myself the unconditional love that this God-given body deserves.  It is only through LOVE that I will continue to heal this beautiful body and find the balance that has escaped me my entire life.


    I am on a journey of LOVE. 




    Angel in Blue

    “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
    ~ Rumi

    Original art by Heather Thompson 
    Blue Phoenix Art
    Title: Angel in Blue
    Acrylic on canvas - Contact for purchase information