Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Be still, and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God.
It seems simple... But how challenging is it to take this SERIOUSLY?!?! How much do I contribute to my own suffering by getting caught up in my own goals only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me?! And then I find myself kneeling, resting on the flow of grace, doing God's work.

Being still is counter cultural. However it is consistently my path.  Be still and let the Spirit MOVE. Take action steps when necessary, but do so rested on the flow of the Creator. I might want to do any number of things (snow shoe, hike, take extra classes, go sledding, and the list goes on.....) But when I do MY WILL, my health suffers.

I dodged a bullet this week. My body appears to be OK after the ER visit a week ago. It's possible that I'm having adrenal trouble - adrenal glands can atrophy after being on Prednisone... And this can be very dangerous. But here's the blessing...The doc is NOT going to put me back on steroids thank God!  That said, Im on a short leash. I need to go slow, get lots of rest and let my adrenals heal. I'm not sure what that means in terms of what I WANT (including horse riding, school, etc)... But I'm clear that my only job at this moment is to BE STILL and get out of God's way. This is usually when the really cool ministry work emerges. And so I shall stay humble and open.

Blast from the Past

I just had the most amazing phone call from my former life! A member of the board of directors I used to serve on called me today saying they were recruiting a vice president of sales and marketing.... And they thought of me. It's been almost 6 years since the accident!  It's so strange to feel so comfortable in my current life, and then to remember what my life used to be like.

When I last spent time with this board of directors I was married, it was before the accident, and my daughter was only 8 weeks old on the first flight down there. I was nursing during session breaks, staying up all night with my screaming baby, and working all day in DC.

In my life now, I'm deeply committed to Ministry, my healing journey, my theological studies, my art and my job as a single parent... it's hard to imagine what my life used to be like. Following the call isn't an easy path. It certainly doesn't come with the glamour of my former life. But every now and then it's important for me to remember what I've done on the path to where I am now and where I'm going. It's all still me and all still a part of who I am, I just keep growing!