As I am sitting here...I feel the need to give a prayer of thanks. I will be submitting this prayer to Bethany Seminary as a part of my vocational statement. Most importantly, whether you read it or not, and regardless of religious affiliation, I have learned that I don't need to pray alone.
I used to be ashamed to pray with others. I used to feel ashamed to ask for prayer. In my formation for ministry, I have learned that prayer is something we should feel free to do as we wish - for ourselves, for others, in private, in public....using words, using color, using silence. There is no right way to do it...so today...I am daring to pray in public. I have never done this before - but for me, as I get my voice back - it is an important part of my journey. St. Augustine did it in his Confessions, so I shall do it today.
A prayer for today...
God, you have bought me back from the brink of health crises so many times, and as I have looked into the abyss of my own finitude, I have felt your hand upon my back filling me with the strength of your LOVE and the awareness that it is not yet time for me. While healing, I have thrashed against the notion of remaining quiet, and yet it is this very stillness that unveiled a powerful flow running through the center of all that is, and I choose to call that Grace. "Be still and know that I am God." Amen.
Lord, as I continue to heal, I no longer wish to walk to the edge of finitude as a means of learning my lessons in ministry. I pray that you open my ears to LISTEN and my eyes to SEE your WORD expressed throughout all of creation. I pray that you grant me the courage to ACT when I feel the nudges of the Spirit that moves me each day, that I am not so caught up in my own agenda...that I learn to maintain the inner stillness even as I walk in the world.
Lord I pray that I continue to have peace and serenity in my body and spirit as I slowly turn the corner toward healing. I pray that my body is restored to wholeness, and that with wellness in place, it brings me closer to you, oh God. I pray that I enjoy the calm of stability and inner stillness even as I gently walk the path toward new healing. Lord I thank you for saving me.
Thank you God for walking with me...every step of this journey giving me the strength and perseverance needed to keep going. May I use what I have learned on this embodied journey to walk with others in ministry... as you see fit, oh Lord...in your time, oh Lord...in your vision for my life.
I completely surrender.