Wednesday, November 14, 2018

There's HOPE in this Health Update

The EXCRUCIATING leg pain that has been unrelenting for months is so much better today. I could do backflips, although I hesitate to be so hopeful. What happened? Well, we put me back on a medicine to help the dysautonomia (I'm not holding water again)...a medicine that just happened to help the weird leg pain years ago...and hot damn it's working.

Incidentally, it was so validating to see my autoimmune disease on the ultrasound yesterday. "There it is," said Dr. Moon. "We finally caught it." Reactive/Psoriatic Arthritis - Humira is gonna work!

Add that to Dysautonomia, Myesthenia (VGCC+), Adrenal Insufficiency, Pituitary Dysfunction, Small Fiber Neuropathy, and other've got one badass mixture of stuff that only the big guns (IVIG and Humira) can fix.

Do I have a Diagnosis? Yes - Several.
Am I healing? Yes - Slowly.
Will I ever be fully "recovered?" - Who the heck knows - I am on God's path. But, I love myself regardless. Finally.

Next step - drop the Prednisone with the IVIG down another 25 mg and hope to God (literally) that there isn't an anaphylactic reaction.

In the mean time, I have a goal - two more walks and a groom of Harvey, then I get to ride my warhorse

Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Prayer in Polarizing Times

I'm contemplating the notion of loving and praying for those who are different from us...those who have nothing to give us...those who can't do anything for us...those whose political beliefs are different...those whose faith seemingly opposes ours...those who make us uncomfortable...those who we can't see but we know are there....those who have power and riches...those who live in poverty...those who have a voice...those who lack the platform to speak...the bully and three bullied...

We live in a polarized society.  It's easy to pray for "our team."  It's much more difficult to pray for all sides.  And it's even more challenging to pray for the invisible few who sit on the margins only to become lost in the midst of ideological fighting. 

My prayer is simple.
Speak God, thy humble servant is listening.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Healing and Hoping

This new brand of IVIG is so much better. I'm having fewer side effects, and I don't feel the constant anaphylaxis.  Dare I say that I actually feel good today?

I'm in a big healing process. People talk about fighting disease.  With me, there's nothing to fight....just malfunctioning systems that need repair.  It's taken me a long time to get to this point, and the walk out will likely take just as long.

I could so easily become depressed and apathetic, but that's not what I feel.  When I pause and check in with my body, I feel hope.  Beneath the exhaustion, fear, and struggle is the strong drumbeat of my warrior spirit. And it is from that place that I say YES to God.