St. John of
the Cross is among my very favorite mystics.
In the midst of great suffering, gratitude was revealed. This is such a seemingly strange paradox, and
yet it is true of life as I walk with those that are suffering and as I endure
my own struggles in life. In
my deepest pain and agony after the Traumatic Brain Injury that changed my life, feeling stripped of all of the things that I held
onto as the core of my identity, I discovered
the simple Grace of being connected to God.
In this very basic way, I learned that I am fundamentally lovable.
This is
similar to the image of Ceres (see video below). On the edge of a cosmological system, seemingly
lonely and void of the stellar beauty that we ascribe to other planetary
bodies, there exists a desolated planet.
This planet reminds us of something so fundamental
to God that it often renders humans uncomfortable – Even its most basic
form - desolate, on the margins, battered, cold - Ceres is a part of the greater
whole. Thus, there is no loneliness when
we are speaking about God…in fact, those that are on the margins, experiencing
suffering, living amidst the dark night of the soul… remind us of the
GRACE that is poured out upon humanity.
Tillich referred to this grace as the Courage to Be.
This brings
me to a favorite quote by St. John of the Cross: “Desire
to imitate Christ – and study His life. Do the most difficult, the harshest,
the less pleasant, the unconsoling, the lowest and most despised, want nothing,
look for the worst.”
We may fear those on the margins because it forces us to
grasp non-being and finitude. On some very core level, people want to
create a sense of “us” and “them” in order to feel safe in the world. To
realize that there is no “us” and “them” is to stand on top of an abyss too frightening for most human beings. Yet, we are called to do just this. We are
called to recognize ourselves in the other.
We are called to notice the divinity in everyone and everything as a
self-emptying of God. KENOSIS.
Just today, I personally experienced this very
challenge. An entire neighborhood of
individuals had rallied against an RV located at the bottom of our hill. Gossip, judgements, unkind words all
infiltrated the discussion about the neighborhood response. I simply asked the question – has anyone
talked with them? Are they homeless? Have they been evicted? Is there something
that is needed? Easy questions that were unanswered in the face of nothing but conjecture. This is "us" vs "them."
I am acutely aware of
the realities of homelessness in our communities, as I spend time working on
these issues. I am currently sick with
an auto-immune flare that is affecting every aspect of my life at the
moment. And yet, I took 30 minutes to
reach out – it’s easy for me to do. Some
would say that this is me ministering to “them.” But I see it differently. In
the presence of those on the margins, suffering, struggle, those that are
living in the grace of the Courage to Be are my pastors…my teachers. There is no "us" and "them." There is only everyone and everything. It is at the outskirts of the unexplained
where I find God because I am forced into the very limit of my own understanding.
Stepping into mystery, even when there is suffering, I find comfort.
As humans, I believe
that we are here to learn something that may seem paradoxical. It is our nature to cling to structures in
ways that make us feel safe. But union with God requires an emptying that often
feels like suffering. It’s a matter of
unlearning all that we thought mattered in the world and discovering a deep
innate sense of the larger whole. I once
heard that suffering is the breaking down of the scar tissue that guards our
hearts, and on the other side of it, is LOVE.
Powerful words.
I will end with this quote from John of the Cross: "When he is brought to nothing, the highest degree of humility, the spiritual union between his soul and God will be effected. The journey does not consist on recreations, experiences and spiritual feelings, but in the living, sensory and spiritual, exterior and interior death of the cross."
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