Today I have been thinking about whether or not I can really know what I look like. And moreover, do I always look the same? I was told by someone that I had just met that I didn't look like my photograph. It cut deep for a variety of reasons, mainly related to my history with an eating disorder. That said, I decided to walk into it with curiosity.
It is really an interesting question considering that every image we have of ourselves is essentially two dimensional - mirrors, photographs, videos... And in the REAL world, people know us in 3-D. Add to it the fact that my exterior image will adjust according to life's circumstances and the state of my spirit, as my insides and outsides are in sync with one another. Living a transparent life means that my body reflects my soul. And finally, add the component that I have synesthesia - I perceive the body and emotions with color. It's complicated for certain.
With that in mind, I searched through some pictures - all me. All look different. And it made me wonder, do I really know what i look like? Visually, that's a tough one. I know what I look like in my paintings, perceived through the lens of color. And as far as my body, I am learning to see my physical being as the changing and evolving miracle that I am.
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