Forgive. Everyone.

"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody." Maya Angelou.

Original art by Heather Thompson
Blue Phoenix Art
WARRIOR CHIEF
acrylic on canvas
Contact for purchase info
Www.bluephoenixart.com

Church on the Margins

I saw Michael today...asked him if he needs anything.  And he looked at me with the bluest most loving eyes and simply said...."No not really...God has truly blessed me."   Those that live on the margins are my pastors.  This is my church.

Dark Night of the Soul - We are all connected.

St. John of the Cross is among my very favorite mystics.  In the midst of great suffering, gratitude was revealed.  This is such a seemingly strange paradox, and yet it is true of life as I walk with those that are suffering and as I endure my own struggles in life.  In my deepest pain and agony after the Traumatic Brain Injury that changed my life, feeling stripped of all of the things that I held onto as the core of my identity, I discovered the simple Grace of being connected to God.  In this very basic way, I learned that I am fundamentally lovable. 

This is similar to the image of Ceres (see video below). On the edge of a cosmological system, seemingly lonely and void of the stellar beauty that we ascribe to other planetary bodies, there exists a desolated planet.  

 https://youtu.be/uSaLVAl-ObY (Links to an external site.)

This planet reminds us of something so fundamental to God that it often renders humans uncomfortable – Even its most basic form - desolate, on the margins, battered, cold - Ceres is a part of the greater whole.  Thus, there is no loneliness when we are speaking about God…in fact, those that are on the margins, experiencing suffering, living amidst the dark night of the soul… remind us of the GRACE that is poured out upon humanity.  Tillich referred to this grace as the Courage to Be.

This brings me to a favorite quote by St. John of the Cross:  “Desire to imitate Christ – and study His life. Do the most difficult, the harshest, the less pleasant, the unconsoling, the lowest and most despised, want nothing, look for the worst.”

We may fear those on the margins because it forces us to grasp non-being and finitude. On some very core level, people want to create a sense of “us” and “them” in order to feel safe in the world. To realize that there is no “us” and “them” is to stand on top of an abyss too frightening for most human beings. Yet, we are called to do just this. We are called to recognize ourselves in the other.  We are called to notice the divinity in everyone and everything as a self-emptying of God. KENOSIS.

Just today, I personally experienced this very challenge.  An entire neighborhood of individuals had rallied against an RV located at the bottom of our hill.  Gossip, judgements, unkind words all infiltrated the discussion about the neighborhood response.  I simply asked the question – has anyone talked with them? Are they homeless? Have they been evicted? Is there something that is needed?  Easy questions that were unanswered in the face of nothing but conjecture.  This is "us" vs "them." 

I am acutely aware of the realities of homelessness in our communities, as I spend time working on these issues.  I am currently sick with an auto-immune flare that is affecting every aspect of my life at the moment.  And yet, I took 30 minutes to reach out – it’s easy for me to do.  Some would say that this is me ministering to “them.” But I see it differently. In the presence of those on the margins, suffering, struggle, those that are living in the grace of the Courage to Be are my pastors…my teachers.  There is no "us" and "them." There is only everyone and everything. It is at the outskirts of the unexplained where I find God because I am forced into the very limit of my own understanding. Stepping into mystery, even when there is suffering, I find comfort.

As humans, I believe that we are here to learn something that may seem paradoxical.  It is our nature to cling to structures in ways that make us feel safe. But union with God requires an emptying that often feels like suffering.  It’s a matter of unlearning all that we thought mattered in the world and discovering a deep innate sense of the larger whole.  I once heard that suffering is the breaking down of the scar tissue that guards our hearts, and on the other side of it, is LOVE.  Powerful words. 

I will end with this quote from John of the Cross: "When he is brought to nothing, the highest degree of humility, the spiritual union between his soul and God will be effected. The journey does not consist on recreations, experiences and spiritual feelings, but in the living, sensory and spiritual, exterior and interior death of the cross."

New Beginning

Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing.
~ Ajahn Chah ~

Original art by Heather Thompson Blue Phoenix Art
"New Beginning"
Acrylic on Canvas
Contact for Purchase Information
www.bluephoenixart.com

Unfiltered. Real.

New Blog Post. Unfiltered. Real.
I debated whether or not to post this - we all have our insecurities...but I felt so inspired by a recent unfiltered post by a friend fighting Stage 4 cancer that I decided to write this post today. Last night I got back the pictures from my recent RAW Artist event…and I was immediately struck by the image looking back at me. Allow me to explain…

I recently had an episode of sudden hearing loss. As of today, it is thought that the hearing loss is caused by an auto-immune problem with my inner ear, and could potentially be indicative of a deeper auto-immune diagnosis. To complicate matters, this could be the diagnosis underlying my struggle with my central nervous system (Dysautonomia), and the reason it has taken so long to heal from my TBI. My goodness, it’s a good thing I spent 15 years of my life in healthcare working on care coordination! But I digress……

There are four photos below, all taken less than two weeks apart. At the time that the first two photos were taken (at my RAW Art Show), I was being given up to 10G of salt a day along with a special steroid to keep my blood pressure up. I was also getting periodic IV fluids. This is Dysautonomia. The goal is to keep one’s “tank” full…so that hydration is consistently optimized in order to keep one’s pressure from dropping. It makes you "puffy." You can see it in the pictures from RAW.

But there was with nagging issue - the difference in my face between the first two pictures and the third picture is so obvious. Not only is it the degree of puffiness, but there was this "mask" on my face (hidden with makeup, but still apparent). My skin was showing something deeper.

Fast forward two weeks - I have been being treated as if I have an auto-immune problem that caused the sudden hearing loss. The mask on my face is gone (last picture). My hearing is restored. My blood pressure is consistent. No need for all of the salt. And as the water and inflammation in my body changes, my physical appearance is changing at the same time. The ability of the human body to morph and change is remarkable.

This brings me back to the images…my skin showed that I was sick. Less than 48 hours after these first two RAW photos were taken, I lost my hearing. I was swollen, particularly in my lymphatic area under my chin. All of that is gone now. So here is what I know…
We know our bodies. We know when things are right and when something is wrong. It is essential to listen deeply to our bodies. I have had an eating disorder in the past, and I am lucky to have healed from it. But the journey now is learning to KNOW my body, and allow the wisdom within to resonate so strongly that I pay attention when something isn’t right. That means avoiding the tendency to judge myself, and instead give myself the unconditional love that this God-given body deserves. It is only through LOVE that I will continue to heal this beautiful body and find the balance that has escaped me my entire life.

I am on a journey of LOVE.

Unfiltered. Real.

I debated whether or not to post this - we all have our insecurities...but I felt so inspired by a recent unfiltered post by a friend fighting Stage 4 cancer that I decided to write this post today. Last night I got back the pictures from my recent RAW Artist event…and I was immediately struck by the image looking back at me.  Allow me to explain…

I recently had an episode of sudden hearing loss.  As of today, it is thought that the hearing loss is caused by an auto-immune problem with my inner ear, and could potentially be indicative of a deeper auto-immune diagnosis.  To complicate matters, this could be the diagnosis underlying my struggle with my central nervous system (Dysautonomia), and the reason it has taken so long to heal from my TBI.  My goodness, it’s a good thing I spent 15 years of my life in healthcare working on care coordination! But I digress……

There are three photos below, all taken less than two weeks apart.  At the time that the first two photos were taken (at my RAW Art Show), I was being given up to 10G of salt a day along with a special steroid to keep my blood pressure up. I was also getting periodic IV fluids. This is Dysautonomia.  The goal is to keep one’s “tank” full…so that hydration is consistently optimized in order to keep one’s pressure from dropping.  It makes you "puffy." You can see it in the pictures.  

But there was with nagging issue - the difference in my face between the first two pictures and the last picture is so obvious.  Not only is it the degree of puffiness, but there was this "mask" on my face (hidden with makeup, but still apparent). My skin was showing something deeper.  

Fast forward two weeks - I have been being treated as if I have an auto-immune problem that caused the sudden hearing loss. The mask on my face is gone. My hearing is restored. My blood pressure is consistent.  No need for all of the salt. And as the water and inflammation in my body changes, my physical appearance is changing at the same time. The ability of the human body to morph and change is remarkable. 

This brings me back to the images…my skin showed that I was sick. Less than 48 hours after these first two RAW photos were taken, I lost my hearing.  I was swollen, particularly in my lymphatic area under my chin.  All of that is gone now. So here is what I know…

We know our bodies. We know when things are right and when something is wrong.  It is essential to listen deeply to our bodies.  I have had an eating disorder in the past, and I am lucky to have healed from it. But the journey now is learning to KNOW my body, and allow the wisdom within to resonate so strongly that I pay attention when something isn’t right.  That means avoiding the tendency to judge myself, and instead give myself the unconditional love that this God-given body deserves.  It is only through LOVE that I will continue to heal this beautiful body and find the balance that has escaped me my entire life.

I am on a journey of LOVE. 

Angel in Blue

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
~ Rumi

Original art by Heather Thompson 
Blue Phoenix Art
Title: Angel in Blue
Acrylic on canvas - Contact for purchase information