Exploring Truth

Over time I have come to realize that certainty is the opposite of faith. The unknown - questions - mystery - doubt - suffering - these are the cracks where the light of God enters day to day living. Today I am exploring the notion that TRUTH sits alongside certainty. By definition, the human experience of truth is relative as it is observed through the lens of a person's individual perception. In my younger years, my relationship contracts with those I LOVED often required that we share the same truth and/or worldview and/or perceptions. If the other person experienced a truth that was different than mine, I needed to contort myself to suit their perceptions or risk losing the relationship. This is not authentic LOVE. I am learning that truth can be experienced differently, and genuine LOVE connects people at a level beyond shared perspectives. In LOVE, my truth does not negate that of another and their truth does not negate mine. This is the "field" beyond right and wrong - beyond duality - that Rumi speaks of...and I am learning to spend some time there.

Original Art by Heather Thompson, Blue Phoenix Art

Integrity and the Serenity Prayer

Living with integrity requires gentle, genuine and loving attention to the ways in which my behavior impacts myself and the people around me. It means dancing in the intersection of individuality and community, where I maintain my own autonomy in the context of communal interaction.

Integrity requires discernment from a variety of angles. It means noticing the things that I need to take responsibility for, while at the same time letting go of the things that I cannot change. It means resisting the temptation to apologize for the sake of peace, if that apology is not authentic. It means relinquishing my illusion of control over people's perceptions of me. It means having the courage to examine the uncomfortable aspects of my life in an effort to bring healing to the wounds that continue to affect daily interactions with others.

Freedom arises through adherence to the principle of integrity. Perhaps that's why the Serenity Prayer is at the cornerstone of addiction recovery.

God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

May God grant YOU and ME and ALL OF US the blessing of serenity today.

Amen.

"Flight Paths"
2018
Mixed Media on Canvas
www.BluePhoenixArt.com
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WOMEN Called by Angels

Easter.
When WOMEN were called by Angels to be the first Preachers of the Risen Christ.

Mark 16:1-8

When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?" When they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, "Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you." So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them; and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.

Gratitude for Rib Fractures!

Here's a total paradigm shift...Yesterday I learned that I have bilateral rib fractures at the 10th ribs. One in my FLANK on the left. One above where my LIVER sits on the right. You might recall this is EXACTLY where I complained of a machete on the left at a chainsaw on the right. Two hospitalizations, endless tests, x-rays that didn't show rib fractures, and two weeks at the Mayo Clinic including seeing a rehabilitative medicine specialist, and no one caught simple broken ribs.

Last December a bone scan revealed "old" rib fractures... but when they said old, I assumed as did the doctors that this went back to my fall when I was 5 years old. No one told me that these fractures were recent. Yesterday in the emergency room when they were looking for pulmonary embolisms, the CT revealed the rib fractures and I was told that it likely occurred within the last year. HOLY COW.

So what does this mean? It means that the sudden onset acute flank pain last August was likely due to fractured ribs. OUCH. I have no idea how it happened, but that's less important than recognizing that ribs heal! YES!  Mix that with neuromuscular disease that was undiagnosed at the time (causing weird symptoms), and steroids for Adrenal Insufficiency, and you have a recipe for what's happened over the last several months.  ANSWERS! 

I could be upset about the fact that something so simple was missed. But then I reflect with gratitude and realize that had the fractures been caught right away, they never would have discovered the rare neuromuscular disease.  And frankly this is something that I've struggled with my whole life. Therefore, the journey has been totally worth it!

I've dared to HOPE this Lent.  And slowly but surely I have noticed a path emerging on the road to Healing. The IVIG is restoring my immune system and helping to heal the rare neuromuscular disease. Discovering broken bones gives us a path for healing. It also raises concerns about osteoporosis which we will further investigate. The acute foot pain at that I've been experiencing could be caused by a variety of things, not the least of which is also the potential for broken bones. So we will further investigate that. But most importantly, there are answers! And healing fractured ribs takes time, especially when you're on steroids, and so I have marching orders to be very careful not to keep reinjuring myself.

Hope. Answers. A path to HEALING. Gratitude this Easter!

Who Gives Humans the Power to Preach?

It's Holy Week. I find that the stories leading up the crucifixion of Jesus are relevant today. In fact, many of the criticisms that Jesus had of the organized Church back then are the same things that people criticize today. So I am openly pondering some very revolutionary scripture. I'll start with this one -

Who gives humans the power to Preach?
(Mark 11:27-33; Luke 20:1-8)

23When Jesus returned to the temple courts and began to teach, the chief priests and elders of the people came to Him. “By what authority are You doing these things?” they asked. “And who gave You this authority?”

24“I will also ask you one question,” Jesus replied, “and if you answer Me, I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. 25What was the source of John’s baptism? Was it from heaven or from men?”

They deliberated among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ He will ask, ‘Why then did you not believe him?’ 26But if we say, ‘From men,’ we are afraid of the crowd, for they all regard John as a prophet.” 27So they said to Jesus, “We do not know.”

“Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things,” He replied

Healing is a GIFT

Because HEALING is a GIFT.
I can see it happening....And I'm deeply grateful.

From Richard Rohr Today

"All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image that we reflect. This is the work of the Lord who is Spirit. —2 Corinthians 3:18

We are created in the image and likeness of God from the moment of our conception. The Creator gives us our core identity as sons and daughters of God, “from the beginning” (Ephesians 1:4-5). Throughout our lives we co-create our unique likeness as we grow and mature. Yes, we have a say in the process! God creates things with the freedom and permission to continue the act of creation. (See Romans 8:28-30.) Many people struggle to think this way without an evolutionary worldview. Religious folks often attribute transformation entirely to God, and secular folks think it’s all up to them. But of course, you who read these meditations are nondual thinkers and can say both/and!

Life gives us opportunities to discover our image and develop our likeness, often in the form of necessary stumbling and falling. Throughout it all we are always held inside of Love. Challenges and disruptions invite us to move from what I call the first half of life to the second half, from forming and serving the ego to the ego, in fact, serving the soul. With the guidance of the Spirit and the help of wise mentors and elders, all of life, including our “false” or small and separate self, can lead us to our True Self or “who we are hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3).

Most of us tend to think about the second half of life in terms of getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of our physical life. But the transition can happen at any age. Moving to the second half of life is an experience of falling upward and onward, into a broader and deeper world, where the soul has found its fullness and we are consciously connected to the whole.

It is not a loss but somehow a gain. I have met enough radiant people to know that this paradox is possible! Many have come to their human fullness, often against all odds, and usually through suffering. They offer models and goals for humanity, much more than the celebrities and politicos who get so much of our attention today.

Helen Keller (1880-1968)—an author, pacifist, suffragist, member of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), and a woman who was deaf and blind—was such a model. Once she discovered her own depths, she seems to have leapt into the second half of life very early, despite considerable limitations. She became convinced that life was about service to others rather than protecting or lamenting her supposedly disabled body. Keller’s Swedenborgian mysticism surely helped her grow and “fall upward” despite—or maybe because of—her very constricted early experience. Helen had to grow; she had to go deep and broad. She clearly continued to create herself, even though she could have so easily complained about how little she had to work with. Where did God end and where did she begin? It is an impossible question to answer. Helen and God somehow worked together."

Entering into Holy Week

"Tree 2"
A Meditation on Kierkegaard 2016
Original Art by Heather Thompson, Blue Phoenix Art

Entering into Holy Week, as a person that did not grow up in the Church, I have been continuously shocked at the way that American mainstream Christianity seems to skim over the shocking reality of Jesus's walk to the cross, then into death, and then resurrection. Forget Easter Bunnies, pretty dresses and delightful hymns...there is a deeper issue with how we package his journey from death to resurrection...

We tend to look at the path from the perspective of hindsight. In other words, we know the ending. The suspense is eliminated, because we know it turns out okay in the end. We know that God delivers on the promise of resurrection. We know that Jesus ascends to Heaven.  

But what about pausing to consider the journey on a moment by moment basis?  What about removing hindsight and placing ourselves into the present moment alongside Jesus as he began the journey to the cross?

The pattern of walking into the unknown - and suffering there - can be found throughout the Bible, from Moses to Abraham to Jesus and more. The great Philosopher/Theologian Soren Kierkegaard dissected this theme throughout many of his writings, but most notably in "Fear and Trembling." Kierkegaard explored the story of Abraham...asking us to imagine the suffering of walking for three days KNOWING that God has asked you to kill your son. 

Erase the benefit of hindsight - eliminate the knowledge that it turns out okay in the end - stand in the midst of that horrific walk - from that space, faith looks entirely different. 

Faith then becomes the humble choice to continue to walk in the way of God, even when the outcome cannot be seen or imagined...even in the midst of great suffering...even when it seems absurd or impossible.  Faith is the recognition that even if the very worst happens, God will redeem it...God will turn it into something beautiful...God will give us the strength to endure. 

I spend a great deal of time contemplating the path of Jesus to the cross and beyond.  He was betrayed, mocked, tortured, and crucified. He suffered more than any human at the hands of fellow humans claiming to do the work of God. He both cried out to God to forgive his persecutors, AND he questioned God from a place of deep human suffering ... "Why hast thou forsaken me?" But this was not enough. Jesus was then sent to Hell for three days only to then return to Earth for 40 days....and it was only after that incredibly long and painful road that he finally ascended to Heaven. 

In the Apostles Creed, the above journey is recited, from the perspective of hindsight. Pausing again to imagine what Jesus endured on a moment to moment basis...not knowing if God was going to deliver on the promise of resurrection...the journey begins to take on a different feel...one that is so powerful that it should both inspire and deeply offend our human sensibilities. 

God became fully human. God was tortured. God was crucified. God endured unimaginable suffering. And in doing so, God gave us the prototype of what it really means to LOVE. 

I see this as my personal challenge during Holy Week. How can I be more LOVING? How can I endure the pain of the present moment, allow myself to cry out to God (as Jesus did), and simultaneously deepen the vessel of LOVE within my spirit?