My Honest Struggle

I'm off the prednisone. Major accomplishment.. Today i went for a horse walk and achieved my fitbit step goal of 7000 steps.  I'm slowly increasing it.  I also had energy for the first time since stopping...and slept through the night for the first time last night.  All progress! 

But here's my honest struggle.  i had it happen again where i didn't recognize myself in the mirror.  No idea why i was more swollen today than yesterday....and on top of it, i have some clogged eye pore thing that makes my eye look weird.  Awesome.  Thankfully i caught it early.

Truthfully... i thought I'd get off the prednisone and return to normal overnight. That sounds silly to say, but it's kind of true. I mean...the swelling happened overnight!

But now I'm putting the journey into perspective and attempting to ask the bigger questions.  How am i to LOVE myself through this part of the journey?  How am i to let others LOVE me when all I want to do is hide. 

I talk about being body positive....but this is badass.

If you don't know about prednisone and weight, here's a good synopsis about changes to ones appearance:

"Steroids affect your metabolism and how your body deposits fat. This can lead to weight gain, and in particular lead to extra deposits of fat in your abdomen (and face). Don't let weight gain damage your self-esteem. Know that the weight will come off - and your stomach return to its normal size - relatively easily in the six months to a year after you discontinue steroids."

Awesome. So the journey continues.