Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Journey Update - I am HEALING

I blog about my healing journey because I am a healing artist. Art is an expression of my path to heal my body, explore spirituality, interpret theological principles, and enter into the sacred contemplation of colorful language.

I cannot separate my body from my art, just as emotions and color are intimately intertwined for me. I paint because I see color as a language to express the inexpressible. This gift - called synesthesia - requires that I maintain an integrated and holistic view of myself and the world around me.

It has taken me 41 years (and a deep dive into the early Theologian Iranaeus) to realize that MY BODY IS GOOD. I spent most of my life lamenting all that was wrong with my body. No more! I have come to realize that God created my body - God created everything - and everything that God created is GOOD.  Therefore, this body - MY BODY - contains the very essence of God.  Why not dare to HOPE that this body - MY BODY - can heal?

I am walking a very challenging path. No one would blame me if I felt like complaining about the pain and suffering I have had to endure; yet, I find myself instead noticing the presence of GRACE. I don't understand my journey all the time, but I see the ways that suffering is transformed into beauty on an almost daily basis.  It is through this perspective that I gain the courage - every day - to put one foot in front of the other and trust that God will provide me with everything I need at each moment. This is the promise of the path of descent...Yin/Yang...the Paschal Mystery...Death and Resurrection.

Daring to be REAL is essential in this increasingly FAKE and disconnected world. Authentic connection is everything. I share about my path because there is strength in vulnerability.  It is my sincere hope that we can remove the shame around chronic illness and disability, thereby engendering a more compassionate community in which we all can thrive.

My body is HEALING. I can feel it, and it is reflected in my art. I am transforming. I have dared to HOPE this Lent, and with my latest IVIG treatment, I am amazed to say that there is indeed a good chance that I will experience life changing improvement. Now I just have to go REALLY SLOW down the healing path. Slow, steady, consistent. Keep walking. Walking by faith.



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