Saturday, July 16, 2016

Dark Night of the Soul - We are all connected.


St. John of the Cross is among my very favorite mystics.  In the midst of great suffering, gratitude was revealed.  This is such a seemingly strange paradox, and yet it is true of life as I walk with those that are suffering and as I endure my own struggles in life.  In my deepest pain and agony after the Traumatic Brain Injury that changed my life, feeling stripped of all of the things that I held onto as the core of my identity, I discovered the simple Grace of being connected to God.  In this very basic way, I learned that I am fundamentally lovable. 

This is similar to the image of Ceres (see video below). On the edge of a cosmological system, seemingly lonely and void of the stellar beauty that we ascribe to other planetary bodies, there exists a desolated planet.  


This planet reminds us of something so fundamental to God that it often renders humans uncomfortable – Even its most basic form - desolate, on the margins, battered, cold - Ceres is a part of the greater whole.  Thus, there is no loneliness when we are speaking about God…in fact, those that are on the margins, experiencing suffering, living amidst the dark night of the soul… remind us of the GRACE that is poured out upon humanity.  Tillich referred to this grace as the Courage to Be.

This brings me to a favorite quote by St. John of the Cross:  “Desire to imitate Christ – and study His life. Do the most difficult, the harshest, the less pleasant, the unconsoling, the lowest and most despised, want nothing, look for the worst.

We may fear those on the margins because it forces us to grasp non-being and finitude. On some very core level, people want to create a sense of “us” and “them” in order to feel safe in the world. To realize that there is no “us” and “them” is to stand on top of an abyss too frightening for most human beings. Yet, we are called to do just this. We are called to recognize ourselves in the other.  We are called to notice the divinity in everyone and everything as a self-emptying of God. KENOSIS.

Just today, I personally experienced this very challenge.  An entire neighborhood of individuals had rallied against an RV located at the bottom of our hill.  Gossip, judgements, unkind words all infiltrated the discussion about the neighborhood response.  I simply asked the question – has anyone talked with them? Are they homeless? Have they been evicted? Is there something that is needed?  Easy questions that were unanswered in the face of nothing but conjecture.  This is "us" vs "them." 

I am acutely aware of the realities of homelessness in our communities, as I spend time working on these issues.  I am currently sick with an auto-immune flare that is affecting every aspect of my life at the moment.  And yet, I took 30 minutes to reach out – it’s easy for me to do.  Some would say that this is me ministering to “them.” But I see it differently. In the presence of those on the margins, suffering, struggle, those that are living in the grace of the Courage to Be are my pastors…my teachers.  There is no "us" and "them." There is only everyone and everything. It is at the outskirts of the unexplained where I find God because I am forced into the very limit of my own understanding. Stepping into mystery, even when there is suffering, I find comfort.


As humans, I believe that we are here to learn something that may seem paradoxical.  It is our nature to cling to structures in ways that make us feel safe. But union with God requires an emptying that often feels like suffering.  It’s a matter of unlearning all that we thought mattered in the world and discovering a deep innate sense of the larger whole.  I once heard that suffering is the breaking down of the scar tissue that guards our hearts, and on the other side of it, is LOVE.  Powerful words. 

I will end with this quote from John of the Cross: "When he is brought to nothing, the highest degree of humility, the spiritual union between his soul and God will be effected. The journey does not consist on recreations, experiences and spiritual feelings, but in the living, sensory and spiritual, exterior and interior death of the cross."

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